Most times, when foreigners from the developed countries relocate to Nigeria, we feel they come in a settle in real quick due to our Nigerian’s hospitality. Well, an American lady who’d relocated from the US to Lagos weeks before lockdown has recounted her experience with a rooster that kept waking her up every morning.
According to the lady identified as Khadijah Ameerah, she got tired of her job in the US and of racist treatments she’s had to endure. Upon arrival in Lagos, Ikoyi to be precise, she narrated her ordeal in blending in with the Lagos hustle and bustle as it’s a different ball game from other cities of the world she’s been to.
Read her hilarious experiences below:
Storytime. So, back in March, I was tired as shit of America. I was dealing with a lot of niggery on multiple fronts, and then coronavirus started becoming a real thing too. When I made the executive decision that I wasn’t going into the office anymore, I decided to head to Naij.
I booked a flight for a few days later, got my life together, and roll bounced to Lagos.
I got here 3 days before they closed the borders up. International airport closed a couple days later. Looked like I was here for the long haul.
I mean, at this point, it was like 20 cases of rona in the whole Nigeria, meanwhile America didn’t know its ass from its nostrils and kids were licking toilet seats. So being “stuck” in Nigeria was a serious whatever to me.
I’ve lived in other countries before. Plus I’m here with family. So I’m extra fine. I just started getting settled and living life.
So I’m getting comfortable. Living life here. Learning which supermarkets carry the things I like. Having dance parties with my family I stay with on Friday nights. Perfecting my homemade quesadilla.
I did, however, grow up in Savannah GA, so I know anout weird country city shit. Like chickens. In the city. Makin noise.
Now, let’s introduce my archnemesis. We’ll call him Roo-boy. He is….was….a rooster that lived in the hood apartment block next to our building.
When I FIRST FIRST heard Roo-boy, it was a normalish time of morning and I was slightly entertained. Like oh okay, someone got a rooster just in the middle of Ikoyi like that. Huh.
Then I started waking up at 4:42 am like….what thee F*CK is that noise….?
Now….I have known other roosters. Like I said, I grew up in Georgia. But I ain’t never in my whole country ass life, encountered no shit like this broke a*s Rooster, Roo-boy.
When I say that this nigga Roo-boy AWOKE at 4:37 every morning and started hollerin for the next 12 hours straight, I am not exaggerating for clout. There was not a morning nor a nap that this nigga didn’t disturb.
I started waking up and just looking out the window at this nigga Roo-boy as he walked around this abandoned building yard where he hung out, just hollerin and screamin like a whole crackhead.
Roo-boy started entering my dreams with that loud ass crowing. I’d wake up feeling like Roo-boy was literally in the room with me. Check the time. It would be 5:12 am.
Now, I know it’s a lot of shit going on in the world. Niggas dying every day B. World on lockdown. Economies tanking. Lives changing.
So I’m tryna keep perspective.
But however this Roo-boy is terrorizing me day and night with his nonstop cockadoodledooing.
One day, I’m sitting at the dinner table and just ruminating on the challenges I’m facing in life. Stuck in a foreign country. Work starting to pile up. Business I launched is going thru changes. Store ran out of sundried tomatoes.
But most pressing on my mind is Roo-boy ass. Roo-boy was finna GET it.
So I call the steward over. Start askin him about the price of chicken. Whole chicken. Live chicken. Whole live male chicken.
I start describing Roo-boy to him and ask him to go find the owner and get a price. How much is it going to cost me to bring Roo-boy into my possession? 8,500. Not dollars. Naira. So just over $20. Bet. If you’re wondering at this point did I put a hit out on a fucking chicken, the answer is yes. Yes the f*ck I did.